BY: RACHEL WUMKES
Unless you speak fluent Pirate, you may not know what that title means. In my feeble attempt to write a super-cool, totally awesome post about the upcoming Pirate Festival, I fell down the rabbit hole on the interwebs looking up Pirate terms and phrases.
Thus, a 30-minute conversation with myself ensued where I spoke only Pirate.
Well, I attempted to, anyway.
Turns out, I’m a complete scallywag.
If you fancy yourself a bit of a drifter, a lover of the sea and all things of the briney deep, I challenge you to put your Pirate skills to the test this weekend at the 6th “sometimes” Annual Pirate Festival.
You’ll have two days to get your sea legs under ya for these swashbuckling adventures, or these maties will likely make you walk the plank.
Well, maybe just to the end of the dock.
The event sets sail from 11AM to 6PM both Saturday and Sunday out at PM Park. And yes, while Labor Day was the official end of their season at this fine establishment, they’ve decided to remain open for one final weekend, transforming it into the isle of Tortuga (kind of) to spend with me hearties.
Shiver me timbers, I couldn’t believe it either!
The Pirate Festival is described on their website as ‘A weekend of family-friendly piratey fun with entertainment, food and shopping. Because Pirates.”
I don’t know about you, but I need no other explanation than “because pirates.”
Costumes are welcomed, and even encouraged. There will even be a costume contest. BUT – do keep in mind this is a family-friendly event, ladies and gents. There’s no room for any of you son of a biscuit eaters to be wandering out and about dressed like a scurvy dog.
If you show up looking like that, it’ll be off with yer head.
Not literally though, because that would be gross. And probably a huge liability for everyone involved.
So scrounge up some doubloons or pieces of eight – or just regular money will work, too. The cost is reasonable for entrance, except for those pesky landlubbers. They need to pay extra, or we’ll have to give them the old heave ho outta there.
photocredit: iowa/minnesota pirate festival
Don’t make yourself into a lily-livered fool and get on over to PM Park this weekend. It’ll be a mighty fine day of Pirate fun for everyone.