photocredit: thoughtco.com

BY: RACHEL WUMKES

This blog could go a variety of directions.  But I figure most people aren’t too keen on learning the ins and outs of my annoyances in life, or what really trips my trigger these days.

Instead, I’ve decided to focus on actual bugs.  You know, the ones that suck all the fun out of any and all outdoor activities in the Fall?  Yeah.  Those.

Always one of my favorite seasons, Fall for me is a time of reflection.  Of slowing things down after the everyday hustle and bustle of summer and all that it entails.  The grill-outs, the concerts, the ballgames, all the lake time fun is wonderful in the summer.  But fall is when we take a breather, catching our breath as we prepare ourselves for the long winter ahead.  Mentally and physically.

What I absolutely hate about Fall, is the barrage of weird bugs that come along with the season.  Maybe hate isn’t the right word.  I’m thinking more on the lines of loathe, despise, detest.

With every fiber of my being, I prayed for the temps to dip below the freezing line and send those little buggers back into the deep, dark, depths of Hell from whence they came.

Especially, those awful Ceratopogonidae.

Say what, now?

The Ceratopogonidae, most commonly known as the No See Um, is a tiny black evil spawn, sent to secretly crawl all over your skin and wreak havoc on your sanity .  They don’t typically bite, but instead urinate on you, creating a painful yet incredibly itchy “bug bite” type of reaction.

Super Gross.

And can we just discuss, for a minute, their name?  I mean… what sort of grammer-challenged hillbilly came up with the No See Um?  Yes, I understand they are difficult to see, hence the name.  But I just feel someone, somewhere, could have maybe taken a few extra moments to really think about a better option in the naming department of this bug.  Seriously.

Normally, they are the only noticeable pestering irritant sent to ruin outdoor time during the Fall.  Except this year. This year we acquired hordes of sweat bees to grace our beautiful lake town with their presence.  Typically not an aggressive bug, they are small and often go unnoticed.  While there are approximately 1000 varieties of the sweat bee, each of them carry a common characteristic:  They have short tongues, which come in handy for lapping up human sweat.

And… dead.

How have I lived 39 years on this great Earth and NOT known THAT’S how they got their name?  They LICK. OUR. SWEAT???

I’m not sure if I’m more appalled by the peeing No See Um or the licking Sweat Bee.

Regardless of my disdain for both bugs, we have now finally experienced a few nights with a hard freeze.  And while I’m rejoicing the death of each and every tiny creature, it’s also a bit of a bummer knowing Old Man Winter is getting warmed up to put us through the ringer, once again.

I guess its all part of the Circle of Life.  Time marches on as seasons change and we adapt ourselves to carry on through the next chapter in our lives.

For me… it means stocking up on wine.  Like a squirrel hording nuts I, too, do what is necessary to get through the long, cold, winter days.

So I bid you adieu, evil dwellers of the insect family.  I’ll enjoy my time until Spring when your pesky relatives, the midges, make their appearance.

See you at the insect-free Lake, my friends.  Dress warm!